How
to sum up this past month: lots of firsts, and lots of lady parts.
First,
the firsts:
1.
First
flat tire (on the way up, in pouring rain): Guess who never had a male of any
association (father, boyfriend, brother, friend, rando) teach her how to change
a flat? This girl. Thank goodness for AAA.
2.
First
high school football game: The residents can cover the local football games on
the side, so I tagged along. Pretty sure
the resident regretted taking me after I wouldn't stop excitedly exclaiming, “It’s
like ‘Friday Night Lights,’ but for REAL!”
3.
First
visit to the magic land of Knoebels: Generally not a big amusement park fan,
but props to how consumer-friendly this park is. No admission fee, you pay per ride, you can
bring your own food (although theirs is pretty good), and no parking fee. Definitely a far cry from the paycheck-guzzling Disney World.
4.
First
county fair (and first taste of fried oreos): I ate three times my normal daily
caloric intake in an afternoon, and I don’t regret a minute of it.
5.
First
visit to the Pennsylvania Grand Canyon: Late afternoon sun, the beginnings of fall foliage, and a
good hiking workout, which was promptly cancelled out by the pumpkin pie I ate
afterwards in a trance of autumn enchantment.
Now,
the lady parts: If you haven’t figured it out, I’m on my Obstetrics and
Gynecology rotation. My days started at
6:30 am with rounding on postpartum patients with the OB team (1 intern and 1
senior resident, plus the attending), then morning report, then dividing my days among the
following (with the team):
- Pre-Natal Center: Ladies find out they’re preggo at the local family planning clinic and then come to us for their pre-natal care. First date is a full history and physical, and every visit afterwards is a quick check-in to make sure everything is going well. I was sorta hoping I would be hanging out with a bunch of Junos all day, but sadly, none were as witty and none of the baby daddies were as adorkable as Michael Cera.
- STD Clinic: I won’t go into detail, but my college health service department was onto something when they drilled “No glove, no love” into our heads during orientation.
- Labor and delivery:
Pushpushpush
That epidural works wonders, doesn’t it?
I can see the head!
It’s going to feel like a giant bowel
movement.
She’s still only 3 cm? Still?
Pushpushpush
Don’t hold air in your cheeks when you
push, otherwise you’ll burst blood vessels and you’ll look puffy.
*in my head* Please stop screaming.
Please. Why are you screaming? The first
sound your child will hear when he comes into this world is you sounding like a
banshee. STOP.
Overall:
I don’t think babies and lady parts are for me.
Well, maybe the babies, but I’d much rather deal with those adorable
peanuts than the mothers, some of whom aren’t even old enough to have a routine
Pap smear. While I do not-so-secretly
enjoy watching “Teen Mom,” it’s not as enjoyable when it’s occurring in front
of you.
Central
PA, it’s been real. I’m off to the
heart of the coal region in Western PA next month for Psychiatry (aka “The
No-Touch Physical”). Given my preference
for hands-on rotations, we’ll see how this turns out.
